1 Timothy 5: 1 – 6:2, “Family is …" Jan 27,2020

1 Timothy 5: 1 – 6:2, “Family is …

Freedom begins her talk

So, I have a confession to make, that might make you like me a little less – I like country music! I know, but sometimes they get it right like the song “Monsters” by Eric Church where he explains that “Fallin' on my knees is my new turnin' on the light” when fighting our monsters or “God’s Country” by Blake Shelton that describes how wonderful it is to live where God is honored; but the song I want to talk about tonight is “Family is Family” by Kacey Musgraves. Because it suits our theme. Family truly is family. And Paul challenges Timothy (and us) to treat the Church (Capitol C – for the big church that includes all Christians – not just our local Church) like family, to love one another.

Now you might have had a bad experience in your family. And that is a true travesty. For I think of it this way. Just like Marriage is the reflection of God’s relationship with each of us. Family is the reflection of how we as the Church need to treat one another. Even Paul calls us family, and fellow heirs to Christ in Romans, 8:17.

Last week John went over how we need to be Spiritually Fit and that we need to nourish ourselves and exercise our faith.

And right after Paul talks about watching our actions towards ourselves, he talks about how we treat others in the faith. Family is everything. You turn to the family to help you; they are our first line of defense. Everything starts in the home. It’s where we gain our confidence and where our foundation is built.  Kacey puts it this way:

“Family is family in church or in prison
You get what you get, and you don’t get to pick ‘em
they might smoke like chimneys, but give you their kidneys
Yeah, friends come in handy , buy family is family

They’re there when you're married, divorced, and remarried
You fall out of touch, but then someone gets buried
And you’re right back together like no time has ever gone by”

Kacey goes on to explain that they might ask for money. They might get in your business and they might not be fancy. But Family is Family. And it is true. Whether it is our Church family or our biological family. We need to remember that these relationships are important.

Now, Relationships are something I studied a lot in my twenties and always have been intrigued by how people relate to one another.  I studied personality styles, conflict resolution styles, love languages, as well as the enneagram. I even created a two-week Christian lesson for high schoolers with what I learned. Basically, I love family. It is convenient that after all of that, I have moved to Washington to be near family and that my brother has such a big family (8 kids!) So, all of this to say that this beginning passage of 1 Tim 5 is dear to my heart. Paul is entreating us to love on our fellow Christians, like family. He says to treat the elders like father’s and younger members like brothers. And sisters and mothers for women. Now there is one thing I have spent my 44 years getting good at and that’s being a sister!

In Wikipedia it says:

“The purpose of families is to maintain the well-being of its members and of society. Ideally, families would offer predictability, structure, and safety as members mature and participate in the community. In most societies, it is within families, that children acquire socialization for life outside the family. Additionally, as the basic unit for meeting the basic needs of its members, it provides a sense of boundaries for performing tasks in a safe environment, ideally builds a person into a functional adult, [and] transmits culture”

Some of the suggestions Paul has are, to encourage each other to always to live rightly, and have a word privately if it was necessary, do not rebuke (or as the Hebrew suggests - Strike out). Not to be harsh or disrespectful with someone who was in error. Treat older men with respect like he would show to his own father – just like the 10 Commandments say “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you” Ex 20:12 it even comes with a promise! Also, the way we treat our family members shows our faith.

Paul encourages Timothy to respect the purity of younger women, as his sisters. And calls him to honor widows. Honor – means to support, or sustain. Honoring someone often includes meeting basic needs and offering practical help.

This section of 1 Tim is very practical. It teaches how to define someone who is truly in need. It uses a whole lot of common sense and is not moved by sentimentality. This very passage goes on to lay down certain of the qualities of the people whom the church is called on to support. Someone faithful, hardworking, and committed to serving.

If a person is to be supported, that person must be supportable. Also, it states “If any believing woman has relatives who are widows. Let her care for them. Let the church not be burdened, so that it may care for those who are truly widows.” V16 those without family.

My brother, sister and I are very blessed to have the privilege of serving my mother, a widow. We work to honor mom practically; we help out around the house. My sister talks sense back into her life, my brother comes out and helps with the yard,

The car and all those manly things. I help with the dishes and catch the spiders!

And, I won’t discuss her age, but she does fit the requirements!

And going back to Verse 8 it says - “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” So, this practice is looked upon as very important. I did find some very good tips on how to treat not only widows but all humans...

Ten Commandments of human relations –

1.     Speak to people. There is nothing so nice as a cheerful word of greeting

2.     Smile at people. It takes 72 muscles to frown and only 14 to smile

3.     Call people by name. The sweetest music to anyone’s ears is the sound of their own name

4.     Be friendly and helpful. If you want friends you must be one

5.     Be cordial. Speak and act as if everything you do is a joy to you 

6.     Be genuinely interested in people. You can like almost everybody if you try.

7.     Be generous with praise and cautious with criticism.

8.     Be considerate with the feelings of others. There are usually three sides to a controversy: Yours, theirs and the truth

9.     Be eager to lend a helping hand. Often it is appreciated more than you know. What counts most in life is what we do for others.

1  Add to this a good sense of humor, a huge dose of patience and a dash of humility this combination will open many doors and the rewards will be enormous.

Paul goes on, also he tells us in Acts that he knows the Old Testament very well, and as a believer in Jesus, Paul accepted the accounts of the Gospels with equal authority. You can note this by the fact that he quotes the Old Testament and Jesus in the same verse. Paul also would understand, biblically, how to deal with conflict. In Deuteronomy 19:15 it says “A single witness shall not suffice against a person for any crime or for any wrong in connection with any offense that he has committed. Only on the evidence of two witnesses or of three witnesses shall a charge be established.” In Matthew 18 it says to go to him directly then take a couple of people with you if that isn’t working. And, Paul talks in 1 Tim 5:20 “As for those who persist in sin, rebuke them in the presence of all, so that the rest may stand in fear.” The very purpose of the confrontation is to bring back the sinner into the fold of the congregation; however if the pastor has continued to sin and it hurts the church then bring it before the church. Treat everyone in the church the same, do not show Special treatment. It is important that love be displayed in a church but it needs to be anchored in the word of God. Our love and honor toward others come from our love and honor for God.

Then there is a nugget of advice to Timothy in an intimate way showing Paul’s attention as a father figure. “(No longer drink only water, but use a little wine for

the sake of your stomach and your frequent ailments.)” V 23 This is about Timothy’s health. Not about the church or how he should run things. Here we have a great truth which the Christian and the worker for Christ often forget and leads to burnout. Dare not neglect your body.  For 9 years I worked in full time ministry. I worked up to 5 jobs at a time. There were some amazing things God did in my life and, in others’ lives, there; however, the year I left full time ministry I had the most intense headache I had ever had for a year straight. It was one of my first bouts with chronic pain. That last year I wasn’t any good to anyone. My ministry was affected because I didn’t take care of my health. “No man must be too busy to look after his own health.” Including mental, spiritual, and physical. We must nourish ourselves, like John spoke to last week. Often a person will find that his spiritual dullness and flatness comes from the simple fact that his body is tired and neglected. No machine will run well unless it is duly cared for and neither will the body. We wish to excel at Christ’s work we will not and cannot unless we are physically well.The old Roman ideal was a “healthy mind in a healthy body” it is well that we keep that tradition today.